


Tis The Season

by Markov_Debris



Series: Christmas Gifts [5]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Doctor Who Series Four, F/M, M/M, Past Character Death, Season/Series 02, Torchwood Novel: Almost Perfect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 04:15:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17134766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Markov_Debris/pseuds/Markov_Debris
Summary: After two hard weeks at Torchwood, Ianto Jones is wondering why the Fish and Chip shop is closed.





	Tis The Season

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you all have a very good Christmas and you enjoy this. It’s a little reminder of why we endure the madness of the season.

Ianto Jones looked into the darkened window of his favourite fish and chip shop and felt confused.  It was about twenty to seven by his watch.  He took out his phone, his eyes going straight to the number 18 that confirmed that it was evening and not morning.  He couldn’t understand why the shop wasn’t open.

It was the final straw.

Two weeks ago the lights in the sky rained over Cardiff.  To the casual observer it looked like an infrequent meteor shower, except that the lights slowed down and as well as bigger.  None of them were destined to hit Cardiff itself, but the unusual pattern, and frequency meant that Torchwood had to investigate.

Ianto thought that, the sheer number of objected in a controlled decent meant that UNIT would help investigate.  However Cardiff wasn’t the only place visited by the lights and UNIT decided that Torchwood could take care of the city whilst they investigated the other places, focusing on the ones around London.  He couldn’t blame them, there was bound to be an invasion attempt centred there this close to Christmas.

It was now, with so many potential landing sites to investigate, that the Torchwood team felt the loss of Toshiko and Owen most keenly.  Tosh would have had a much easier time tracking the objects than Ianto had.  She would have had alerts set up to tell them they were coming long before he did.  They both would have been able to help track them down as they seemed to all land in different areas outside Cardiff.

Annoyingly the objects had not come through the Rift.  According to the predictor, this year everything was going to be quiet until the day after Boxing Day.  Whilst Ianto hadn’t planned on spending time with his family like Jack wanted him to; he knew that Gwen had been looking forward to spending time with Rhys, and not looking forward to spending Boxing Day with his parents.

Given that the objects were visible with the naked eye, and had made the local news wherever they were seen, Rhys couldn’t object when Gwen went back to work a few hours after she came home.  Actually Ianto had the impression that he did want to object loudly but he didn’t.  Perhaps because they already looked so shattered he didn’t have the heart to burden them further.

Although he was getting better, Jack was still very protective of the team he had left.  That was why instead of the team splitting up to investigate different sites, they all went together to where the largest collection of objects had landed.

As soon as they saw the ships their heart sank.  There were twenty of them, haphazardly parked in a farmer’s field.  The farmer and his family appeared to be away for the holidays.  The sheep and livestock were in the care of a farm hand with a suspicious immigration status (the farmer probably thought he came from Eastern Europe rather than beyond the solar system).  The farm hand was taking advantage of his employers’ absence to use his land as a space ship park.

Jack feared the worst.  It was Christmas, a time of celebration where spirits were high and there was a sense of joy in the air.  Cardiff wasn’t prepared for a mass invasion by a force that had obviously been planning this for months if not years.  Not only that, but one of the ships had a short range teleport and was being used to ferry people from the other ships into Cardiff.

Huddled behind a wall, Jack and Gwen began to discuss what they should do about all these alien visitors.  The Captain was particularly dismayed that the Shadow Proclamation was doing nothing to prevent this invasion; after what happened with the Daleks that was particularly irritating.

In the meantime, Ianto had been watching the aliens, making sure that they weren’t noticed.  As he watched, he noticed something odd.  The aliens were not dressed in identical military uniforms and holding weapons, they were dressed like a group of people who had all dressed in the dark after a night of clubbing.  Everything they wore looked like it was bought off the peg in one of Cardiff’s shops, but had been assembled into an outfit from Eighties London.

“You know I don’t think this is quite the invasion we feared,” Ianto said interrupting the whispered argument behind him.

The other two joined him in looking over the wall at the invaders.  They watched as five human looking aliens emerged from the ship with the teleport and headed for one of the others.  In the front an older woman talked animatedly with a young one.  There was excitement and enjoyment in every gesture, plus a slight wobble in the walk that hinted at the consumption of alcohol.  Behind them a young girl and a boy followed talking in a similar fashion, their gestures as much as their features suggested they were siblings.  Behind them, carrying a large number of bags, was man.  He wore the world weary, grumpy expression of a person doing something they hate for people they love.

“What the hell?” Jack exclaimed when five minutes later the space ship took off.

Together the Torchwood team turned away from the aliens, sitting out of sight.  Puzzlement filled Jack and Gwen’s faces but Ianto had enlightenment blossoming across his.

“UNIT said that there were lights over Lincoln weeks ago; and they have been going on and off around London and Bath,” Ianto said quietly.

“There were lots of other places too, so what?” Gwen asked.

“Lincoln has a Christmas Market over one weekend a year, Lisa went once.  She also went to the one in Bath and there are two in London and one here in Cardiff,” Ianto explained.

Jack groaned a hung his head in his hands.  Gwen on the other hand made the fatal mistake as far as their own Christmas plans were concerned, she laughed.  She should have known better, she had been on event duty before.

“Are you saying that Cardiff has been invaded by Christmas shoppers?” she said incredulous.

“London’s Winter Wonderland is not just visited by Christians and they don’t just sell Christmas decorations.   Lots of different people enjoy them, some just have to be careful to avoid the wurst,” Ianto hadn’t been able to resist, even if it was closer to something Owen would have said.

Jack just groaned, not looking at his lover, whilst the pun went straight over Gwen’s head.  The Captain then heaved himself up, ordered them to set up surveillance and went over to talk to the alien who was looking after the farm.  Once they finished they headed for the next site.

They finished visiting the last of the parking sites at eight in the evening and were glad to call it a day.  It seemed that the aliens did not want any trouble and those looking after the parking sights had no intention of letting any violent visitors through, it would spoil their profit on this venture, especially as this was a trial run for future trips.  Jack felt that Ianto was right; their intentions were not hostile and was happy for them to police themselves.

Then the second nail in their Christmas happiness.  When Rhys found out what the lights were, he laughed like Gwen had.

At four o’clock in the morning they were called out to sort out an alien sighting caused by the failure of one of the perception filters their Christmas visitors were using.  It seemed that some of them were not just here to shop they were here to be tourists and, like many young people holidaying aboard, this involved late night partying and sex with the locals and other tourists.

From then on it was chaos.  There were too many aliens to track and hunt down.  Some were very well behaved, coming for the shopping and to visit the castle.  Others were enjoying the nightlife, and finding it a bit more wild than they imagined.  There were arguments, fights and a few parties that got a bit too loud.  No one was injured or killed thankfully, though there were some humans that Torchwood thought were being kidnapped but had actually decided to run away with the aliens they spent the last few nights with.  There was even a few aliens that fell in love with Cardiff so much that they decided they wanted to stay.  Some of their vehicles ended up being towed away by the organisers and sold for scrap, whilst another decide to blow his up causing a panic when it was seen from the motorway.

The locals on the other hand took it all in their stride.  It didn’t seem to matter if those buying were local, foreign (mostly English) or alien.  As long as they paid and didn’t damage anything they didn’t mind.  Those partying didn’t seem to mind either, though for some there would be problems nine months later (including few surprised young men, though not exactly for the same reasons).

There were only three of them.  They had had to handle the work of twenty over the last two weeks.  They were exhausted when it suddenly all quietened down and the last of the ships left.  They spent most of the day doing a cleanup of the aftermath, and probably should have headed home hours ago, but Jack was anxious and kept wanting to double check things.

However, they were also hungry so Ianto was sent out for food.  Now for some inexplicable reason the Fish and Chip shop was closed.  He hadn’t been able to get hold of Jubilee Pizza, the Chinese or the Indian takeaway either.  It was just too much.

“Come on,” Gwen’s voice was beside him, making him jump.

“I know somewhere where we can get something to eat.  I figured if I kidnap you Jack will see sense and follow,” Gwen said with a smile holding out her arm for him to take.

He smiled at his friend, knowing that he could hold on a little longer just for her, and accepted her arm.  She led him to her car and he got in.  Ianto wasn’t aware of dozing off until Gwen shook him awake.  He apologised instantly, but she reminded him that he had made sure she got some sleep earlier whilst he continued to work.  He was startled to realise that they were at her flat.

She led him inside and his nostrils were assaulted by the glorious smell of roasting turkey and vegetables.  The Welshman was sure that the last meal he had had with Gwen and Rhys, whilst he was a woman, had been so disastrous that it would be the last.  As he crossed the threshold he felt instantly guilty for not bringing a bottle with him.

“Ah you found him.  Dinner won’t be long we just have to wait for Jack.  I’ll just grab you a beer,” Rhys said letting go of the spoon he was using and heading to the fridge.

Their host brought a glass of wine for his wife as well as the promised beer.  He took one look at them and ushered them to the dining table rather than the sofa; Ianto suspected that if he sat in it he would fall asleep again.  The Archivist sat in a dazed silence whilst the husband and wife talked.  He wasn’t able to contribute more than a few comments about how nice the food smelt and how good the Christmas decorations were.

When the turkey was taken out of the oven to rest, Ianto excused himself to use the bathroom.  Apart from answering a call of nature, he wanted to wash his face, see if that would wake him up a bit.  He returned to the main room to hear an angry pounding on the door.  Rhys again stopped his stirring to open the door.

“Ah Jack, come on in you’re just in time,” the Welshman said, cheerfully leaving the door open whilst he returned to the kitchen area.

Whatever the Immortal was going to say was silenced as he inhaled.  The gorgeous smell made the Captain’s stomach growl so loudly that Ianto could hear it from where he was sitting.  Jack shook himself and was about to say something when Rhys pulled the foil off of the massive turkey.

“If one of you lot wouldn’t mind carving I’ll get everything else ready,” he called.

Before Jack could move, Ianto got out of his seat and headed to the Kitchen.  He didn’t really trust the Immortal with this particular job, partly because he wasn’t sure he should be trusted with sharp blades, but mostly because he wasn’t sure he could be trusted not to eat half of what he carved before it got to the table.

Rhys Williams had cooked up a feast.  With the turkey there was stuffing, pigs in blankets, roast potatoes, carrots, parsnips, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, peas, sweetcorn, Yorkshire pudding and gravy.  Dishes and condiments, including cranberry sauce, were soon being passed around.  The three members of Torchwood each piled on enough for two people, none of them able to remember when they last ate properly.  Even indulging this much there still seemed to be plenty left over.

“This is wonderful,” Jack said once half of what he put on his place had been demolished.

“Well Gwen’s been telling me about what’s happening and well, I wasn’t sure you would be done by today.  But I figured that if you weren’t finished in time for this meal I could make you all turkey sandwiches.  When Gwen called to tell me you were mostly finished I got started, well I knew you’d starve otherwise,” Rhys said modestly.

“You knew the Fish and Chip shop had closed,” Ianto accused.

“Of course it’s closed pet, it’s Christmas Day,” Gwen said kindly.

The married couple both chuckled as their guests both looked slightly bemused.

“You got rather a typical Christmas this year.  Tis the season for great madness at the shops, followed by relaxing over a huge meal with family and friends on the big day,” Rhys commented.

“Merry Christmas,” Gwen said, with a glass raised.

“Merry Christmas,” the three men echoed drinking the toast.

The excellent food was followed by good conversation, though Ianto wasn’t sure he fully followed it.  He vaguely remembered some form of chocolate dessert but not much more after that.  He knew that Jack got him home that night because he woke up naked in bed with him the next day.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jack demanded as he started to rise.

“We’re all having the day off.”

“Best Christmas present ever,” Ianto said with feeling as he flopped back onto the bed.

“Second best,” he corrected as Jack moved nearer, but that’s another story.

 

Fin.


End file.
